–by Laura Dennis It’s not the lying. It’s not the cursing. It’s not the stealing. It’s not even the violence and aggression. It’s the shame. That’s what I hate most about Reactive Attachment Disorder. Let’s start with my shame. I didn’t want to be ashamed that my child had problems, but I was. I’m the mom, after all. I’m supposed to make everything better. Even now I sometimes crumple under the withering glances when my
–by Julie Beem I’ve been to a handful of post-adoption conferences this spring and summer. After working with ATN for over a decade, I have been excited by the number of workshops and speakers addressing early childhood trauma, and in some cases citing the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) Study. I remember all too well the many years when trauma and attachment challenges were not openly addressed at conferences attended by adoption professionals and adoptive parents.
–by Lorraine Fuller Back-to-school time involves mixed feelings for so many of us trauma moms. We might look forward to the respite it provides. I am a stay-at-home mom and while I love my kids, I enjoy the much-needed break at the end of a long summer. The routine my child thrives on is easier for me to keep up with during school. Plus being able to grocery shop without my son stealing is nice.
–by Janyne A. McConnaughey, Ph.D. originally published June 21, 2017 on Janyne’s blog I stood in the doorway. I was very small, maybe two. I was sucking on my two middle fingers and watching my mother in the kitchen. I was forbidden from entering. Then I did the unthinkable. I stepped over the imaginary line and asked for a cookie. The response was not a positive one, but what strikes me most is how I felt
–by Laura Dennis Author’s note: I was working on an entirely brand-new post for this week, but life happened. I present instead an edited version of a a post I wrote for my own blog, Les Pensées du chat noir, in honor of National Attachment and Trauma Awareness Day, 2015. You can learn more at the NATA website. In 2015, my family did more than their fair share to keep doctors in business. Whether it be broken
–by Janyne McConnaughey, Ph.D. Staring at the analog clock in my therapist’s office, I wondered which hand was the big hand and struggled with my need not to go over my time. “I can’t read the clock,” I said. It was awkward because I was 62, but I really wasn’t. This awkward therapy moment is brought to you by my dissociative disorder. It was a watershed moment in understanding one possible reason for uneven learning
Note from the blog manager: every once in a while, someone at ATN finds a post that is simply too good not to share. I am so glad that this week’s guest, Monica, agreed to let me re-publish it here. To learn more about this “emerging mama” and her life of faith and as an adoptive mom, visit her website http://emergingmama.com/ 4 Reasons Parenting Trauma is Incredibly Difficult -by Monica Reynolds January 26, 2016 We were well into
By: D Craig Peterson NATA Day is coming June 19th. Let me tell you what it’s not. It’s “not a” day to be alone. All families need support. Wear a blue ribbon and tell others what it means. It’s “not a” day to be angry. Sure, go ahead and vent if you need the emotional release. But don’t let the anger about your child’s behavior stop you from connecting. In other words, hate the mental
By: Julie Beem Just like an integral ballroom dance, the dance of attachment between a parent and their newly adopted child is both difficult to do and so beautiful to watch. In this film we get the rare opportunity to meet a family prior to their adoption, as they prepare to bring home three children from Russian orphanages – Masha who is 11 and twins, Marcel and Vadim, who are 5. The fascinating thing is
By: D Craig Peterson A film can be powerful – especially in giving victims a voice. Think Precious or Schindler’s List. But could a 100-minute dramatization show the challenges of parenting severely unattached children? The answer is yes. In 2012, Jane Ryan – a long-time parent of children from hard places and a clinician – brought The Boarder to life. Her passion for telling the whole story is obvious. Recently my three youngest sons (now