–by Donald Craig Peterson I wish, I wish, I wish…I wish I hadn’t adopted. There I said it. Like a majority of families who’ve adopted children, I wasn’t mentally prepared for the surprises. You know, the chaos inside Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. The manipulation and triangulation inherent to attachment disorders. The invisible insanity associated with developmental trauma. Sure, I expected some challenges along the way. After all, adoption isn’t a fairy tale. But when the bad
–by Lorraine Fuller I used to love Christmas. I would decorate the whole house. I would plan crafts for the kids. I would buy way too many gifts. We had all these traditions. Movies and books and games. Hot chocolate stirred with candy canes. New pajamas on Christmas Eve. Everyone together for Christmas dinner. I couldn’t wait for the kids to be home. I loved it all. Now, well, not so much. The shopping isn’t
–by Donald Craig Peterson Manager’s note: you can read the original post on Craig’s own blog, Adopting Faith: A Father’s Unconditional Love. Craig also has a forthcoming memoir, Adopting Faith: A Father’s Unconditional Love, and you can follow his son Andrew’s story by clicking “Like” on the Facebook page, Andrew Peterson Goes for the Gold. ____________ The past month at my house has been rough. More surprises than usual. And not the pleasant variety. To be honest, I’ve been
Volunteering is the ultimate exercise in democracy. You vote in elections once a year, but when you volunteer, you vote everyday, about the kind of community you want to live in. – Unknown by: Julie Beem Everyday, I get up and stumble into my home office…to volunteer. Often I’m three cups of coffee in and still in my PJs when I look up and realize that it’s noon. I’ve spent the entire morning talking with families
by: Craig Peterson Six months ago I sat down to write a letter to my 23-year-old son who was incarcerated three hours away. After re-reading the entire stack of his letters, I realized he’d done much soul searching. He had shared many deeply personal thoughts about his past failures. Was I now man enough to give him another chance? Focusing on the title of my forthcoming book Adopting Faith: A Father’s Unconditional Love, I decided
by: Deborah A. Novo It is natural to feel apprehensive and scared navigating through some of life’s challenges and expectations. Much of the time, we can do this with confidence and competence. However, scared doesn’t begin to identify the depth and breadth of the feeling that is experienced when our children with Reactive Attachment Disorder anticipate or perceive abandonment. The feeling could be more accurately described as panic and terror. People outside the child’s inner
by: Gari Lister Parenting an adult child with reactive attachment disorder — especially a young adult — can be challenging, to say the least. My oldest is 23, and we have been through a LOT with her since she became a “legal” adult. We have faced questions like: do we press charges, do we give her presents when she won’t see us, do we bail her out of jail, do we pay for drivers education,
October 30, 2014 by: Kelly Killian As Halloween approaches and children begin to pick out costumes, they pick out a new “personality” to try on for a day. It makes me think of our kids. So often what you see is a mask that they are wearing for the occasion. It is not the true personality of the child. It is the personality they wear for the situation. My son was in out of home
By: Julie Beem
The listing of factors that make children resilient from Resilience Theory: A Literature Review by Adrian DePlessis VanBreda made total sense to me. But the paragraph of conclusion supposedly based on these factors did not:
ATN is delighted to include another post from Carol Lozier. Carol, a member of ATN’s Board of Directors, is a clinical social worker in private practice in Louisville, Kentucky. Her website, www.forever-families.com, offers a blog, free downloadable tools for families, an excerpt of her book, and a supportive community of adoptive and foster parents.
By: Carol Lozier
Have you ever noticed that adopted and foster kids are especially cute? Their beautiful eyes, cute noses, and charming smiles often call attention to them and to their family. In the midst of this attention, adoptive and foster parents often hear remarks of how their parenting could be more effective, or possibly that they are expecting too much or too little from their child. Understandably, parents are caught off guard as they are hit with a critical comment, and sometimes are not sure how to address them.
I wrote the following letter, found on page 63 of The Adoptive & Foster Parent Guide, to help families express their needs and requests to their family, friends, church, after school caregivers, teachers, physicians, and others. Parents, please copy and use this letter; share it with your adoptive and fostering friends. Send the letter to any person(s) in your life who may gain a new understanding of how to help you and your family.