–by Sara Borgstede (originally posted on the author’s blog, The Holy Mess, on November 14, 2017) Have you recently given birth to a baby or brought a new family member into your home through foster care or adoption? Maybe you are a relative or friend looking for Christmas gifts for a new little one in your life. I’m thrilled to bring you this guide to gifts that promote attachment and bonding. We were foster parents for
–by Hilary Jacobs Hendel, originally published on the author’s blog, May 17, 2016 Manager’s note: I’ve lately been in a particularly tough and sometimes dark place as a trauma mama, partly with my kids’ stuff, partly with my own. I don’t know if I’ll be able to get my kids to try this, but it sure helped me! Maintaining a connection to both our thoughts and emotions is required for optimal wellbeing. One of my greatest
–by Laura Dennis, originally published on the author’s own blog, Les Pensées du chat noir [This is not the ATN post of the week, but rather an explanation of why it isn’t (yet) here. And after last week’s post on caregiver stress, I thought this could maybe be of help to some.] We all have so much we mean to do. I, for example, mean to put up a new post on the ATN blog every Tuesday
–by Sara Borgstede This was originally posted on the author’s website, The Holy Mess – Balancing Faith, Family, and Fitness, on June 4, 2017. As we drive through the beautiful rolling hills of western New York, my husband reaches over to grasp my hand. I glance over and see a stream of tears run down his cheek as he navigates the car. My eyes are dry. I’ve cried so much over these days, I have no
–by Hilary Jacobs Hendel Manager’s note: another great post from therapist and writer Hilary Jacobs Hendel, originally published back in July. Many people carry the same wounds Mike has. Kids impacted by trauma carry them at least a thousand-fold. This post helps understand how they feel and gives ideas of tools can help. Click here to learn more about Hilary’s work on The Change Triangle and her forthcoming book, It’s Not Always Depression, from Random House Press.
–by Lorraine Fuller Summer can be difficult for parents of special needs kids. The schedules are different, it’s hot outside, and there is no school. Some parents don’t get a break. I’m one of those parents. I used to love summer, but parenting a child with trauma and attachment issues has made summers difficult. Still, there are some things that might help. If your child can handle it, look into community activities such as day
–By Hilary Jacobs Hendel Manager’s note: The ATN blog is pleased to announce the addition of therapist and author Hilary Jacobs Hendel to our lineup of regular contributors. Although not as adoption- or attachment-focused as some of our other bloggers, Hilary’s work on core emotions and “The Change Triangle” provides precious insight into both our children and ourselves. Enjoy! What ‘Mad Men’ and Don Draper Taught Us About Trauma and Shame originally published on Hilary
–By Julie Beem A mother called me a while back. “What consequence can I give her?” she started, “She just won’t behave at school and the teacher keeps sending home notes. The only thing I can think of, the only thing she seems to enjoy is going to our church’s Wednesday night events. If I take this away, will she understand and start behaving?” Hmmm…this type of consequence makes logical sense in typical parenting world.
–by Lorraine Fuller If you live in a house with trauma, you know that not all seasons are created equal. Most kids do better with a regular routine, but especially special needs kids. As parents of those special kiddos, we learn how to tiptoe around holidays and traditions. We often clash with relatives, neighbors or teachers in our efforts to protect our children from the damaging effects of those special days. This means that holidays we
–by Julie Beem There’s a phrase my daughter spits out in anger and rage. One that does not contain obscenities or obvious threats, but still strikes fear in my heart. The phrase is, “It’s Just Like Mother’s Day!” She usually says this through gritted teeth in almost a growl-like tone with her face contorted. Even those who have no frame of reference can tell that she does not have a sweet, positive memory of Mother’s Day.