–by Cissy White [original version published on Parenting with ACEs on June 5, 2016] There are many adults with low ACE scores who parent children with high ACE scores. These parents are often feisty and fierce advocates who tirelessly seek out support, strategies and solutions to make the lives of their children easier and better. They are some of the best parents I know. The ones I admire most have helped me be a better person, a
—by Lorraine Fuller Last month, I shared three things that parents want therapists to know: Parents don’t know if they can trust therapists. Parents love their kids. Parents are juggling multiple responsibilities. I promised a follow-up, so here it is, three things parents want therapists to do. 1) Please listen to us. We know a lot about our kids, and we want to partner with you. I remember going to one therapist and handing her
–by Neeva Carter The moment I heard my children’s names, my world stood still. I was at work, standing in an empty room on the phone, listening to our social worker run through the highlights of their story. She was reluctant to tell me anything, having only agreed because the children’s social worker had begged, convinced that we were the ones she’d been looking for. We were already considering five other sibling pairs, so our
–by Janyne McConnaughey, PhD The teacher and I exchanged knowing looks as a kindergartener flung herself across the table, scattering crayons and paper in every direction. We understood that intervening at this moment would only make it worse, although it probably was going to get worse anyway. I was a volunteer. I had no clue what to do, so I sat down on the floor next to the table under which the child had crawled.
–by Laura Dennis, with much gratitude to Hilary Jacobs Hendel, to whom I owe both the title and content of this post This is not a book review Last month, I wrote a post previewing Hilary Jacobs Hendel’s new book, It’s Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self. In it, I promised a review of that book, which Hilary was gracious
–by Laura Dennis I don’t know about you, but parenting a child who has suffered trauma and been diagnosed with reactive attachment disorder can bring out a side of me no one should ever see. I’ve yelled far more than I care to admit (it’s a miracle I still have a voice with which to speak) and I’ve locked myself up to cry. I’ve revved up to fever pitch, then just as quickly shut down.
–by Emerging Mama Monica Reynolds [originally published on the author’s blog, November 21, 2017] Another holiday season upon us! A season that for many is filled with joy, excitement, and celebrations, very often presents trauma families with additional stress and confusion. When we just want to chill and enjoy the celebrations like normal (whatever that is) families are doing, we are instead switched into extra-scaffolding mode, knowing that lax schedules, extra food and treats, gifts, and new
–by Sara Borgstede (originally posted on the author’s blog, The Holy Mess, on November 14, 2017) Have you recently given birth to a baby or brought a new family member into your home through foster care or adoption? Maybe you are a relative or friend looking for Christmas gifts for a new little one in your life. I’m thrilled to bring you this guide to gifts that promote attachment and bonding. We were foster parents for
–by Emerging Mama Monica Reynolds [originally published on the author’s blog, November 14, 2017, just in time for the biggest food extravaganza of them all!] Just this past week, I discovered a new secret stash of food and food wrappers in my child’s bedroom. It wasn’t in the same place as the stash before, or the one before that, or…the one. before. that. Secret stashes of food and food wrappers are a sad reminder that while
–by Julie Beem I’ve been to a handful of post-adoption conferences this spring and summer. After working with ATN for over a decade, I have been excited by the number of workshops and speakers addressing early childhood trauma, and in some cases citing the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) Study. I remember all too well the many years when trauma and attachment challenges were not openly addressed at conferences attended by adoption professionals and adoptive parents.