–by Janyne A. McConnaughey, Ph.D. originally published June 21, 2017 on Janyne’s blog I stood in the doorway. I was very small, maybe two. I was sucking on my two middle fingers and watching my mother in the kitchen. I was forbidden from entering. Then I did the unthinkable. I stepped over the imaginary line and asked for a cookie. The response was not a positive one, but what strikes me most is how I felt
-by Julie Beem The title probably doesn’t surprise you, but now there is scientific evidence…right down to the cellular level. A study coming out of the University of California-San Francisco compared biological mothers of chronically ill children to those of healthy children. The finding was that those who had chronically ill children had a higher level of chronic stress that had significant impact on three biological factors – the length of telomeres, the activity of
by: Gari Lister I woke up this morning and checked my phone as I lay in bed (yes, I know it’s terrible. . . ) and here is what I read over and over again: “I’m done.” “I can’t take it anymore. I just can’t.” “He’s killed the best parts of me.” “I hate it. I even hate her.” I so get it. I have been there – parenting traumatized children is really,
by: Julie Beem Every day ATN gets calls and emails from parents struggling to find answers for their children’s behaviors. These behaviors are the result of early, often chronic, trauma. Whether the child has experienced abuse, neglect, painful medical procedures or witness violence, these Adverse Childhood Experiences alter the child’s social and emotional development. They actually change his brain. So what’s the solution? “What can fix my child?” is often the question asked. Early trauma,
We are delighted to bring you this guest blog from Robyn Gobbel, LCSW, who is a therapist specializing in adoption, attachment, and trauma and a founder of the Central Texas Attachment & Trauma Center. Robyn earned a Master’s Degree in Social Work from the University of Utah and holds a Post-Graduate Certificate in Therapy with Foster & Adoptive Families. Trained in EMDR, Trust Based Relational Intervention®, and The ALERT Program, she integrates these modalities into an
December 4, 2014 by: David Kerrigan In the holiday season, we’re reminded to remember the neediest among us. From every spiritual tradition I know of, we’re called to compassion, mercy, loving kindness, treating others as we would want to be treated… For therapeutic parents, that means having compassion for traumatized kids. Being patient when they’re impatient, being kind when they’re cruel, being willing to be with them in their sufferings, sufferings that can be so
By: Gari Lister
What is a good mom? Here’s how I would answer a questionnaire on how I was a good mom today: I drove my ten year old an hour and twenty minutes each way to skating camp; I tried really really hard to talk to my twelve year old about sensitive pre-teen things I cannot share here; I fed my kids mostly healthy gluten free meals; my house is reasonably clean; I taught my middle daughter how to complete a job successfully; I gave the girls all kinds of brain-strengthening vitamins; and I went to yoga. Ok, maybe I wouldn’t include the last item. But maybe I should.
By Gari Lister
This morning I started off my day with a cascade of nastiness from my usually reasonably-fun-to-be-around fifth grader. “I’m not going to eat those pills. Are you serious? Is that what we’re having for breakfast? Well, of course, we’re going to be late because of her [the sweeter younger sister].” First, I spent a moment thanking my yoga teacher for helping me to understand equanimity.
By: Julie Beem
When she looked at me, her eyes were filling with tears. She had just heard me say, and expound upon, the idea of reviewing your therapeutic parenting responses at the end of the day to see where you had done well and where things had not gone so well. “Just like professional athletes,” I advised, “we need to review those game tapes every day, learning from what worked and what didn’t.”
By: Anna Paravano
I’m going to be completely honest here. Whenever I go to a presentation, participate in a discussion group, or talk to a psych, and someone says, “Remember, you have to put the oxygen mask on yourself first before you put it on your child,” I just feel like decking them. In truth, my first thought is, “Do you even have kids?!?!” and then I want to deck them.